There are movies that are bad. And then there are those rare movies that are â€œShowgirlsâ€ bad. And unfortunately, Christina Aguilera’s latest movie, Burlesque, has been put in the same category as Showgirls! Yikes!!! Read more after the jump…
Hereâ€™s the film that answers the question: â€œWhat movie started and ended Christina Aguileraâ€™s movie career?â€
Aguilera plays a small-town Iowa girl in Iowa who ditches the Midwest for Hollywood â€“ and a job in an outlandish nightclub that seems stuck in the â€œCabaretâ€ era. Itâ€™s run by Cher â€“ and it gives Aguilera the chance to hopscotch from waitress to chorus-line dancer to star attraction. Thereâ€™s a lot of silliness about Cher, as the old-time star who still takes an occasional turn onstage, and her dilemma about missed payments on the clubâ€™s mortgage. Will she lose the club? Can the new girl save the day? Does a bear poop in the woods?
The script is free of credible friction or jeopardy. The music is brassy and generic, with tame dance numbers that would make real burlesque performers snicker. The clubâ€™s shows look like post-Bob Fosse knock-offs.
Thereâ€™s nary a surprise to be had, except for Aguileraâ€™s apparent misconception that she has acting talent. And thatâ€™s not really so surprising, is it?