Helloooo! Earth to ANY man, famous or not: you don’t bring one-night stands to your CRIB! You bring them to a hotel, the star rating depending on how dirty the chick is! You leave your valuables in the CAR or ON YOU so she can’t take them and call it a day! DUMMIES! Simon Cowell learned this the hard way when a one night stand in October resulted in stolen money, wallet and a computer…chock full of private affairs for his X-Factor show. SMH! Details of the incident below.

Marisa Mendez

TMZ has confirmed … last October, Simon hooked up with a girl he met at Drai’s nightclub in Hollywood. He took her home, but the next morning she was gone and so was his computer and his wallet loaded with cash.

Simon — who has his Bev Hills mansion wired for security — called the cops. The footage showed the woman, cops tracked her down and she handed over the computer and the wallet sans cash.

Although it’s unclear exactly when Simon broke up with fiancee Mezhgan Hussainy, sources connected with Simon tell us it was BEFORE the theft.