Chris Brown & Rihanna

We all make mistakes. Some bigger than others, but still, a mistake nonetheless that can be used as a learning experience if we are sure not to repeat them. When I was younger, I did a whole bunch of things I now wish I would have done quite differently. I dated the most ain’t ISH man ever for an entire year because he looked like my favorite rapper. LMAO! Of course I’d take that back if I could, but I can’t, so I learned from it, I moved on, and now I move a whole lot smarter. Fortunately for me, I only lived that experience out in front of handfuls of my college friends, a majority of whom I’m not even in contact with now. So, I’m not forced to relive the experience and the pain and the embarrassment (I’m telling you, he wasn’t ISH!) over and over….much like Chris Brown is.

Marisa Mendez

When that fateful night happened for Chris and his then-girlfriend Rihanna in 2009, the singer was only 19-years-old (not 18, like his Twitter rant claimed earlier…available in the gallery.) Now, his “mistake” is a LOT larger than the ones a majority of us made at that age, but his life and his upbringing were also a lot different than a majority of ours at that age as well. He came from a home where he saw his father beating his mother, and though he knew it was wrong, it’s still something that was taught to him at an early age. So while it doesn’t make it okay, you can see what kind of demons he was dealing with. Add to that the pressures of fame at SUCH a young age, and you have the recipe for something disastrous.

We don’t know WHAT happened in that car, that’s only between them two, but I can’t imagine Chris snapped completely unprovoked. By no means am I saying it’s okay, but we do have to recognize why this happened. Obviously, he had some issues. We can sit here and talk all day about how he easily could have controlled himself or walked away or whatever we want to say, but the fact of the matter is, we don’t know what went through his head and NONE of us are doctors or therapists or psychics. (Well, unless you are one…but that still doesn’t mean you know what went through his head, LOL.)

He can’t change the past, but he can change what he does moving forward. And he DID! He got help, he did his community service, he made things right with Rihanna, he hasn’t repeated a similar incident in the 4 years it’s been…what more can we ask for? There are some skeletons in all of our closets, but we don’t have them dangling in every doorway that we walk through. Yet Chris does…and it’s not really fair. Yes, he did something monstrous. Yes, it’s NOT okay what he did. But he had ISSUES. Do we not believe that people change? There are successful, GOOD people in this world who had entire criminal histories as teens! We’re young, we’re dumb, and in Chris Brown’s case, dealing with some issues that you can’t believe (word to Yeezy.)

Hey you, you 32-year-old mother and wife that had an affair with a married man back in your college days…you’re not too proud of that, right? Don’t you think girls that do that now are deplorable?! Hey you, you hard-working, church-going man of God…remember when you beat the mess out of that kid in high school and stole his new Jordans? Kids are so crazy, right? Do you want people to remind you of those moments every day? Do you want those poor decisions you made when you weren’t fully matured to haunt your new life? No, so why do we choose to do it to someone else for their own demons? I think it’s time we stop painting Chris as a monster and a horrible person, and let him just live his life and make music (that you KNOW you like, don’t front!)