Gucci Mane

Gucci Mane has become the most interesting thing to happen to Twitter in quite some time, though it’s kind of sad in a “watching a trainwreck in progress” type of way. The Atlanta rapper has been filling timelines with his grammatically flawed messages since yesterday, making some bold claims about the advance money he gave to his former artists (like Waka Flocka, French Montana, Frenchie BSM), as well as about dozens of industry women he allegedly bedded.

Marisa Mendez

“Waka tell atlantic records dont call my cell bout buying. You from me unless they got 1million. If u rich waka. Buy yo contract bitch 1M,” was one such Gucci tweet over the weekend.

Here’s the translation: “Hey Waka Flocka, Atlantic Records has been calling me because they’d like to buy you out of the contract I have you binded to. However, I’m not going to accept any deal unless it’s worth $1 million. You claim that you have lots of money, Mr. Flocka, so if this is the case, why don’t you prove it by buying yourself out? Until then, I own you. Love always, Gucci Mane La Flare.”

Today he got even more personal, and began naming names of tons of the women he’s been with, though it doesn’t seem that there’s much validity behind his claims. He did throw a woman out of a moving vehicle one time, though, so really anything is possible.

“Me and waka f*ck nikki minaj dats nothing,” Gucci began (shortly after giving a big F you to a laundry list of people, Nicki included.) “Tell. Her intervention my dick in her throat I moved dat bitch to atl. Bitch u was sleepin n d car. Bitch. I pulled dat bitch off wayne bus. Me and waka fucked chyna tyga girl at d w south beach dats nuthin. Ask dj holiday Em n her mouth. Waka. N her ass. True”

Translation: “Myself and my artist at the time, Waka Flocka, easily had sex with Nicki Minaj back when she was in Atlanta. She’d been with Lil Wayne but really wasn’t making too much money, so I was the one that stepped in and paid for her to move to Atlanta. Basically, I made her who she is, all while having sexual intercourse with her in the process. Also, while we’re here, Waka and I had sex with the girlfriend of Nicki’s labelmate Tyga as well. This is when she was still living in South Beach, Miami, and you can ask Atlanta DJ, DJ Holiday, for the proof. It was a threesome situation, with my penis in her mouth, and Waka’s in her butt. For real!”

He went on to say he had sex with the following names: Ciara, Kelly Rowland, Monica, Iggy Azalea, Buffy Da Body, Fantasia, Jeezy’s “main thing” (whoever that is,) Maliah Michel, Yaris Sanchez, Keyshia Dior, Jessica at King of Diamonds, Taraji P. Henson and Sheneka Adams. Also in that process, he told his label, Atlantic Records, to suck his d*ck. Since then, it’s been uncovered that not only has he been dropped from his label, but also that both Nicki Minaj and Tyga ignored his request for a feature last week, both likely being the catalysts that prompted this rant.

All jokes aside, Gucci Mane has been to rehab before, and he may need to head there again. I can’t imagine he’s of sane mind right now, and it’s really quite sad. In the meantime, check out everyone’s replies in the gallery. BURR!