Guilty Co-Worker Ejaculates In Coffee

You would’ve thought the “never leave your cup unattended” rule was for the club but nah…watch it at work fam!!! News is confirmed that the Man Who Ejaculated in Co-Worker’s Coffee Pleads Guilty and not only that…he had priors! The question that you (don’t really want to know) is…did she drink it or nah???

John Robert Lind is the Minnesota Man Who Ejaculated in Co-Worker’s Coffee Pleads Guilty after escaping felony sexual assault charges last year (damn) for not only letting off in her morning Joe but also leaving some of his protein on her desk (#NoChill!!!). Huffington Post reports a loophole in the state’s legal code was what led the judge to dismiss the original charges.

This time around prosecutors went about filing misdemeanor indecent exposure charges for “engaging in lewd and indecent behavior” against the Man Who Ejaculated in Co-Worker’s Coffee Pleads Guilty and obviously found some success. Initially the judge wasn’t going for it because “actual contact with the bodily fluids” wasn’t established–until Patricia Maahs decided to go public and fight against this with full-on TMI…and YES, she did in fact drink it!!!:

She told WTVR that she had noticed a bad taste in her coffee over a period of six months, but that she only pieced things together once she caught Lind with a “deer in headlights” look while he was standing near her desk one day.

..daaaaaamn, six months???!!! (SMH) The Man Who Ejaculated in Co-Worker’s Coffee Pleads Guilty apparently also left puddles and strange odors around her desk. She’s letting her name be spread in the press as part of her fight and is now pushing for him to have to register as a sex offender–which is definitely a scar on the record and can mess you up for life. All this because he “liked her and was attracted to her” (SMH)–should the moral of the story here be…use your words???

Details still developing but check the gallery up top for more!

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