A man in possession of the world’s greatest license plate has lost his battle with the Virginia DMV, who ridiculously claim it encourages oral sex with kids instead of just cannibalism. Here’s their predictably unfunny response to the funny plate.

@funkmasterflex

According to poster WHOWANTSBEEF at Reddit, he’s the owner of the infamous “EATTHE Kids First” license plate floating around the internet for years. Unfortunately for him, someone complained his plate was advocating something beyond hilarious cannibalism.

I received a second letter saying that I would then be going into a sort court hearing about it over the phone. There would be me, a DMV representative and a mediator. Long story short I had my ass handed to me and had no defense.
In the end I asked how many people complained and what they complained about exactly, since I was under the impression it was being taken away because of cannibalism concerns. I was told they received something like 4 letters and 7 phone calls. All of them generic “I’m offended and my right to not be offended trumps everything!!!”. The DMV then had a private round table meeting with something like 13 people in the meeting… JUST to discuss my plate.
On their own, they came to the conclusion that my plate advocated oral sex on children, oral fucking sex on underage fucking children!! I was completely shocked and couldnt form a complete sentence afterwords.
I then tried to get the plate “FUVADMV”, but it didnt pass muster.
As support, he provides this detailed and humorless letter from the DMV, which is the best proof you’ll get he actually had the plate. So good job, Virginia DMV, you protected us from humor.

j