According to new studies sex with an ex can be a good thing especially if it was a “clean break” and both people aren’t in current. I guess it depends on the ex, why they are an ex, and the maturity level. I personally don’t want to even be friends with ANY of my exes forget about having sex with them but that’s another story. Read more about the study after the jump.
Now, a new study coming out in the Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology suggests that sex with your ex may not be as bad as you think.
Researchers at the University of Arizona looked at post-breakup psychological adjustment and ongoing contact among 137 married adults who had recently separated. As you’d expect, people who accepted the breakup were generally better adjusted while those who still pined for it weren’t.
But that’s not all: for those who didn’t accept the breakup, making a clean break (the advice everyone gives after a breakup) didn’t leave them any happier than trying to keep up a friendship. And if they stayed in touch with their exes, they were actually doing better if they kept having sex with their partner.
“Sexual contact with an ex-partner seems to be associated with better well-being for those who aren’t over the relationship,” says lead author Ashley Mason, a clinical psychology PhD candidate. (YouBeauty Relationship Expert David Sbarra is a co-author on this study as well.)
Why? Most likely, it’s simply that their actions match their feelings.
“Their psychological attachment to their ex-partners is still that of a lover,” says Mason. “So if they’re still having sex with their partners-a type of contact we usually only have with lovers-then their attachment to and behavior toward their ex-partners are in line with each other.” In other words, if you want to be in a relationship but you’ve settled for sex, then at least one part of your wish has come true.
Of course, having sex with your ex shouldn’t be seen as a cure-all.
“I would not suggest that people run out and start having sex with their ex-partners,” says Mason. “Continuing to sleep with an ex could be preventing one from starting a new relationship that might be beneficial.” (Feeling used comes to mind as a probable downside as well.)
But if you’ve unwillingly untied the knot and you decide to keep it carnal, you may actually find you’re doing better-at least for a little while.
Anybody who’s done it, knows its a TERRIBLE idea.